*This post was originally written in November of 2013 for a company I was doing some “freelance” blogging for that is no longer in business. (It was also syndicated by Yahoo Finance, which was pretty cool!) Since it’s a topic several of you asked about on my reader survey last week, I thought I would update it (a little) and share it again here. Feel free to leave additional questions or your own thoughts/advice in the comments!
As a working mom, finding childcare that meets the needs of our family TOPS my list of priorities. When I first went back to work in October of 2011, after Sam was born in July and a twelve week maternity leave, he began spending about 40 hours a week at an in-home childcare facility close to my school with four other infants/toddlers. The sitter had been in the business of child care for more than twenty years and, in addition to coming highly recommended from a co-worker of mine whose son was currently staying with her, she had lots and lots of positive references etc. Almost immediately I knew we had made the right decision when my sweet boy smiled every morning when I dropped him off and was still smiling when I picked him up at the end of the day. In addition, he quickly took to a more structured daily routine and started being more social and happier at home. Especially in the early months, I found SO much comfort in knowing that Sam was in good hands. (I honestly don’t know that I could have gone to work every day if I wasn’t confident in that.) Plus, moreover, I was surprised to find how much I valued and appreciated the sitter’s friendship and having someone else who knew and cared for my baby well to bounce ideas off of, get advice from, etc. Even now, three years later, I credit her with bringing some structure to the totally chaotic early days with a baby and helping me adjust to my new life as a working mom.
My work situation changed when Sam was a little over a year old, and – although we had been very pleased with our childcare situation – we opted to look for a part-time sitter to watch him in our home instead that fall. Though we did interviews through Care.com etc., we ultimately found the right person for us though Facebook (ofallthings) at the recommendation of a friend. In August of 2012, she started keeping Sam four mornings a week. Since then, she has transitioned into working full-time with us, keeping both of our kids, and – most importantly – become a HUGE blessing to and part of our family. If you’ve read this blog for any amount of time, you’ve heard me sing her praises – we, literally, could not survive without her!
Now that we’ve been in the childcare market for almost four years (wow) and had two great experiences with different sitters, I feel “qualified” to offer a few tips for finding a great babysitter:
1. Focus on references and personal recommendations.
No matter how fancy her resume is or how great her paperwork sounds, you should rely most heavily on the references and recommendations of current and former clients. In an ideal world, you will be able to find a babysitter that has been personally recommended by a friend or co-worker of yours that has already had a good experience with this person. Simply knowing that someone you trust has trusted this person with their child is HUGE. Facebook and other social media outlets are a great place to start this kind-of search. Beyond that, don’t be afraid to call NUMEROUS references before settling on a sitter. (Not having references would be a big red flag for me!) When you call, have specific questions you want to ask and don’t hold back. *I offer references for our first sitter pretty frequently, and I’m always happy to do so. It’s such a big decision for a family, and I’m more than willing to offer a small bit of peace of mind.
2. Visit her at home/ meet her family/ get to know her on a personal level.
ESPECIALLY if your child is going to be staying at her house, you want to feel very confident about the environment he/she will be spending time in. Stop by for a visit unannounced. Ask for a full tour. Ask questions about family members and friends that might come by. Look at the photos on the walls, the books on the bookshelf, etc. etc. These things say a lot about a person.
Even if the sitter is going to be coming to your house, I think this is still an important step in the process. In fact, the deciding factor for my husband and I in choosing to work with our current sitter over a few other candidates was that she invited us to her house to meet her husband and kids. Simply seeing the way the kids treat people, the way she keeps house, etc. was big for us. (It might seem intrusive or weird; but, remember, this person is going to play a big role in your child’s life. Now is the time to be intrusive!)
3. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
Even though the conversations may feel awkward at times, it is always best to get everything out on the table in the very beginning of your relationship. Be sure you talk about pay, vacation, sick-leave, family rules, extra duties (like cooking or cleaning), etc. BEFORE you commit to anyone. You might even consider drawing up a basic contract and having both parties sign it (you can find these online for free) just to make sure everyone is on the same page. Later, consider asking your sitter to keep a notebook recording daily schedules, new activities, etc. etc. (Some aren’t willing to do this extra work, and I can’t really blame them since taking care of multiple small children is pretty time consuming – ha! – but it’s worth a shot to ask if it matters to you.) Being able to keep up with these daily details will make you both feel better and more involved. Just like in any relationship, communication is KEY to success.
4. Welcome her relationship with your child & build one of your own with her.
This mostly comes once you have decided on a sitter, but it is really a big one for me! DO NOT try to compete with your sitter for your child’s love!! Be GLAD that this person loves your child and that the feeling is mutual. Yes, she might see more “firsts” than you (though I good one will keep that information to herself 😉 ), or be able to get him to take a nap or let you cut his toenails (true story) way better than you can; but, I try to remind myself that “the more people that care about my child, the better!!” If you are sad when you leave every day, or take offense when your child doesn’t want to go home, chances are he/she will pick up on that and feel less comfortable with the sitter.
Likewise, take the time to build a relationship of your own with this person… Spending even just a few minutes at each drop off or pick up making small-talk and getting to know each other goes a long way in terms of everyone’s comfort-level.
5. Read your child & trust your gut.
Apart from installing hidden cameras everywhere, trusting someone with your child every day requires a good bit of faith! We really don’t know how many hours the TV is on each day while you are gone, or how long your baby cried before she was picked up after nap. BUT, I do think you can tell a lot by paying attention to your child’s mood during drop-off and pick-up. Is he/she happy to see the sitter? Does he/she act like himself/herself in the evenings at home? Ask your child to draw a picture (if they are old enough) of what they do all day… In addition to the obvious things like physical symptoms of abuse etc, these are all important things to pay attention to and can help you gauge if a sitter is the right fit for your family; but, most of all, always trust your gut. YOU are the mom, and only YOU know best. If you feel weird about something, don’t waste time or worry about hurting feelings – look into it!
In the end, as always, whatever route you choose for childcare (or otherwise) will be the right thing for your family! Try to be confident in your decisions and focus on the positives instead of the negatives (there will be both) of your situation.
Good luck!! 🙂
E
P.S. My Reader Survey and big Back-to-School Giveaway end TONIGHT! Make sure you fill it out / enter if you haven’t already. I will share some stats from the survey and announce the winner tomorrow!
Nannies in Calgary says
A very useful list from a working mother about how to find suitable child care for children, many parents not opt to read recommendations from front to back which I think is a mistake to make that could be costly.
Faylinn says
I just moved to a new city with my son and am currently looking for a new child care program to take him to. I have already been gathering recommendations from people that I have met at church about which place might be the best place for him. However, I really think that it is so important to just pay attention to how your child feels about being with their care providers and so I think that I will give a couple of places trial runs to see if they would be good fits for my son.
Misty says
garfield 0 2Hallo der Herr “I+ Saftneger I-” aus Baaayern! Es gibt hier auf Cartoonland ein unsibchreegenes Gesetz:Dialekt ist verboten, weil dann der Rest der Nation: nixxe kappiere!! Ist auch für mich sehr schwer zu akzeptieren, aber es ist halt leider so.
Cal Driver says
Thanks so much for posting this! It seems strangely rare to hear the opinion of a working mom on the subject of daycare. That said, your tips are really helpful. Do you have any experience working with larger daycare and childcare companies? Thanks so much!
Justin Knox says
Thank you for the help. My wife just got a job again, so we will need to find childcare for the first time. I love your focus on communication. We are nervous about taking this step, but open communication will be key to having success. How can you tell what the communication will be like before making the final decision?
Vincent Burns says
I think it is really important that you find a childcare service that is going to meet the needs and helps promote what you are teaching in the home. That typically isn’t too hard to find. I can be difficult to find the price you are hoping for. I suggest going to multiple places and seeing how they run their business.
Sarah Anderson says
References and referrals are a really good place to start when looking for a good place for childcare. This will save you a lot of time looking through everything in a driveable distance. Don’t just take the referral at face value though, take the time to make sure the place is right for you and your child.
Andy Harrison says
Of the things that you listed here, having good communication is the most important. It doesn’t matter if you are having someone care for your child at home or you are taking them to a facility, always let them know what is going on. It’s especially important to let them know if your child is allergic to any foods or doesn’t like certain things.
Kyle Wayne says
I really appreciate these tips for finding a daycare. My little nephew is getting to be the age where he would benefit from time spent at a high-quality establishment. I like what you said about focusing on references while making this important childcare decision. I will be sure to pass this information on to my family to help them make a good decision.
Aileen says
c’est pas trés clair tes innÃrpe©nétratiots, peut être que tu cherches des trucs que t’ignores, cependant je peux te dire aussi qu’il y a pléthore de site pour les citations, barthes en javanais si tu veux, ça peut te faire patienter jusque lÃ
Brooke McAvoy says
I agree with what you said about the references and recommendations. Child care is as very personal job, and references and recommendations are what give you information on a very personal level. Also, sometimes a person can be a very good sitter, but just not be able to mesh with your children. I will be keeping your detailed information in mind, thank you for all of the helpful tips!
Delly Den says
Why don’t you try to take some reference for working parents who is quite similar to your working conditions. And I guess a good reference will offer you satisfactory center. By the way there are some nice points mentioned here in this post. They are also useful.
Ridley Fitzgerald says
When I take my son to a daycare, I want it to be the best I can find! Thanks for the great tips for doing just that. I hadn’t thought about visiting the boss of the daycare in their home and getting to know them personally. That is great, since then you know who you are entrusting your kids to.
Baxter Abel says
I really appreciate your emphasis on communication when looking for a daycare. I also really like what you said about getting to know personally the daycare provider. I’ve heard that the ease of finding a daycare changes a lot based on the town and community one lives in, I’ll have to look more into it though.
Loney Child says
I’m so glad you wrote this! Your tips are so practical. You made me feel so much better about finding care for Laney when I was looking. I have found the perfect solution for us now though! My sister is at home with a baby and she is going to come to my house to watch Laney when I have to work.
Pam Lassila says
I think that there are so many good possibilities when it comes to childcare! There are some amazing people out there! I would definitely look into personal references and recommendations from friends because they know you and you trust their opinion. This makes me feel better about hiring someone to watch my kids as I go back to work!
Tomas Killington says
My wife recently gave birth to our first child. We have been looking for reputable child care services, but we’re not quite sure what we’re looking for. I didn’t realize that making visits to a care taker’s location can give you a better idea of who they are on a personal level level, and this will also help your child feel more comfortable in that setting. I’ll be sure to remember that tip as we continue our search.
Ivy Baker says
I like that you talked about seeing how your child feels about the daycare. That does seem like a huge thing you should consider when picking one. I know that I hated going to my daycare when I was a kid. So, I know that I would want my child to enjoy going to theirs.
Ridley Fitzgerald says
Thanks for the tips on finding good childcare. My wife is going back to work next month, so we need a place to take our son for a few hours. I will definitely start asking for some recommendations from friends and family.
Victoria Day Care says
Excellent tips! Indeed, getting on a personal level of knowing the details is necessary in choosing the best child care because a precious child’s welfare is at stake.
Kylie Dotts says
I like how you said that you knew you had chosen the right child care because your son was smiling when he went in and came out. Knowing that your child is comfortable is one of the most important things to look for because of the amount of time they will spend in a place throughout the week. I am going to be taking my youngest son to a child care center soon so I’ll have to be sure to look for one where he will feel comfortable as well as I will feel comfortable leaving him at. Maybe I’ll ask some of my friends and family to see if they have any recommendations just like you did!
Sam Wilkins says
I like how you suggested drawing up a contract and having both parties sign it before settling on a daycare. My husband and I are thinking of putting our little boy into daycare. We’ll have to look around and see how things go.
Steele Honda says
Like you said, I believe that it;s impossible to find a good childcare without getting to know a future babysitter as closely as possible. She might be really nice at the first glance, but you never know how she will behave with a child alone. My sister is looking for a babysitter as she has found a new job and I hope she will find a great one, both as a professional and a personality. Thanks for the tips!
Hannah Schroeder says
Thanks for the advice about talking about pay, vacation, and sick-leave. My husband and I decided that I would go back to work now that our daughter is three, but we’re worried that the person won’t have a consistent schedule. It would be a good idea to discuss those points during the initial child care meeting.
Oscar O'Malley says
I really like that you mentioned getting recommendations from friends and family to find a great and trustworthy childcare service. My wife is ready to go back to work now that our son is four years old, and we’ve discussed taking him to daycare so we can both work, while making sure that he’s still taken care of and happy. Finding a daycare we can trust, and that our son would enjoy is very important to us right now!
Roger Middleton says
I liked that you had mentioned that it can be important to focus your efforts on personal recommendations to make sure you’re getting the best possible childcare. My wife and I have been wanting to put our daughter into childcare recently just so that my wife can have more alone time than she currently does. We’ll have to start asking around and see who our friends can recommend for us so that we can get the best care possible for her.
Earnest Watkins says
My wife and I are looking at sending our daughter to a childcare program while my wife works so that our daughter can make some friends. I liked how you pointed out that references are one of the most important factors to consider when choosing a childcare service. I know I’d definitely feel more trusting of a service after having been provided references, so we’ll be sure to get some before deciding on who to go with.
James Marellene says
I think it is really important that you find a childcare service that is going to meet the needs and helps promote what you are teaching in the home. Thanks for the tips!
James says
First of all, Congrats on the excellent groundwork and the way you portrayed the importance of Mother Role in search of the best baby sitter to her baby. I touched with the points you stressed on Trust and Communicate. Yes, I do agree with your ideology, since only these two make the relations stronger and gives the best result.
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