Mondays are the hardest part about being a working mom for me. (And the Monday after a two week holiday… I just can’t even.)
Sure, not being the one to get Sam up, feed him breakfast, and snuggle with cartoons in the mornings is hard. So is just waking up before the sun period, and having to dress in normal clothes every day and look (semi) put together. But, for the most part, I’ve been able to find a silver lining in those things. I love that Sam gets to spend his mornings with his Daddy, that he gets to learn from excellent teachers and be with his friends at school, and I honestly don’t know how we would function without the help and influence of his amazing nanny every day. Even the waking up before the sun part has its perks – hello sunrise and quiet house – and it’s kind-of fun to shop for and put together outfits; BUT, Sunday evenings and Monday mornings are the absolute worst…
See, every break/weekend/etc. I have a list of a million things I want to do during my time off – some of them arefun things like take Sam to the playground or watch a movie with Jeff, and some of them are just practical things like finally putting away my laundry so that I don’t have to go down to the basement every morning to get clean clothes, going grocery shopping, or returning the six million emails in my inbox. Whenever I have a break, I struggle to find the balance of rest/play and productivity. I struggle with expectations and never quite being able to get as much done as I’d hoped I would… And, like clockwork, my alarm goes off on Monday morning at 5AM, and my time is up. Run out.
During the week, things are mostly on auto-pilot. I might be able to squeeze in a quick trip to the bank (or even the grocery store if we really get desperate), but most days I can barely keep my head above water between work, gym (when I’m lucky), dinner, lunches, clean-up, etc. Before I know it, it’s after nine o’clock, I’m exhausted, and it’s time to call it a day so I can do it all over again in the morning. VERY rarely do I so much as get a load of laundry all the way finished Monday thru Friday much less make a dent in my “project list.” It all has to wait until Saturday and – by that point – all the work from the previous weekend has been completely undone, the house is a crazy zone again, and my body is craving time to just do nothing…
And, so, the struggle continues week after week. Every Monday, I wonder how things would be different if I didn’t have a full time job out of the home… I realize my work would still never really be done; but, maybe I wouldn’t feel like I had such a deadline either… Maybe?
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday… They are OK. In fact, most days, I’m thankful for some structure and routine in our lives. I love my job. I know that Sam is happy and well taken care of. I recognize that the laundry will always be there, and it isn’t worth worrying about. But Monday? Mondays are the worst…
If you are a mama going back to work today, like me, I hope you know you aren’t alone in feeling like you barely made a dent in your To Do list, you’re already overwhelmed by the week ahead, and your break went entirely too fast… Today will be hard, but it will get easier. We’ll find our groove again. We’ll remember why we work, and that it is worth it. We’ve got this.
P.S. A beautiful little note from Glennon for my teacher friends today.