You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t been blogging much lately… I’m not giving up on this space, but I am learning a little about prioritizing and being extra intentional about how I spend my time.
I’ll be honest, the last month or so has been hard. I have a lot on my plate (don’t we all), and I don’t feel like I’m doing anything particularly well right now. I know we talk all the time about how balance is an illusion and “good enough is good enough,” but my default is still to try to do too much and to do it all perfectly. Admitting defeat in that endeavor does not come without a lot of kicking and screaming and caffeine overdoses around here.
So I’ve been running around feeling tired, overwhelmed, and sorry for myself; then, last week hit…
There’s a lot of sad stuff in the world, you know. Stuff that stops you in your tracks and reminds you that a clean house / an A+ paper /a stellar work evaluation/ a lot of blog views / ___________ just really doesn’t mean a darn a thing when it’s all said and done…
I went to a funeral for a former student last week. She was 19 and had been fighting cancer for five years. When I left, this refrain started in my head that I can’t get out… “Just do what matters.”
For me, what matters right now is that my marriage is strong, my children are happy and loved, and my students/friends/family feel cared for. The rest of the stuff – graded papers, laundry, yes, even this blog – just doesn’t.
So I’m using my time at work (and at home after bedtime etc.) as wisely as I can to be productive and stay caught up, and the rest of the time I’m doing what matters. I’m saying yes to extra cuddles. I’m eating dinner at the table. I’m getting on the floor. I’m having coffee with friends. I’m putting my phone away.
I’m not where I want to be, and I have a feeling I’ll have to learn this lesson another 100 times still before it really sticks, but I’m getting closer… Thanks for being on the journey!
Well said E! I’m so glad you’re learning that early on because for some of us it takes years! Love you!
Nikki Miller says
Love being part of the journey.
This post was beautiful. Keep doing what matters but know that your blog may fit into that list. Not at the top, maybe not in the middle, possibly down at the bottom, but it’s on the list. I’ll keep checking back for new posts and it doesn’t matter to me how few and far between they might be.
Amen to that! I think sometimes that I will be re-learning this lesson until the day I die.
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