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Teaching Sam and Scout

Teaching, Motherhood, and Life In-Between

What Really Matters

You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t been blogging much lately… I’m not giving up on this space, but I am learning a little about prioritizing and being extra intentional about how I spend my time.

I’ll be honest, the last month or so has been hard. I have a lot on my plate (don’t we all), and I don’t feel like I’m doing anything particularly well right now. I know we talk all the time about how balance is an illusion and “good enough is good enough,” but my default is still to try to do too much and to do it all perfectly. Admitting defeat in that endeavor does not come without a lot of kicking and screaming and caffeine overdoses around here.

So I’ve been running around feeling tired, overwhelmed, and sorry for myself; then, last week hit…

There’s a lot of sad stuff in the world, you know. Stuff that stops you in your tracks and reminds you that a clean house / an A+ paper /a stellar work evaluation/ a lot of blog views / ___________ just really doesn’t mean a darn a thing when it’s all said and done…

I went to a funeral for a former student last week. She was 19 and had been fighting cancer for five years. When I left, this refrain started in my head that I can’t get out… “Just do what matters.”

 

Just

 

Do

 

What

 

Matters

 

For me, what matters right now is that my marriage is strong, my children are happy and loved, and my students/friends/family feel cared for. The rest of the stuff – graded papers, laundry, yes, even this blog – just doesn’t.

So I’m using my time at work (and at home after bedtime etc.) as wisely as I can to be productive and stay caught up, and the rest of the time I’m doing what matters. I’m saying yes to extra cuddles. I’m eating dinner at the table. I’m getting on the floor. I’m having coffee with friends. I’m putting my phone away.

I’m not where I want to be, and I have a feeling I’ll have to learn this lesson another 100 times still before it really sticks, but I’m getting closer… Thanks for being on the journey!

E

Pray for South Carolina

I had a post scheduled to go up today about shoes, but it seemed totally ridiculous (and inappropriate) in light of what is going on in South Carolina right now…

-ae46741a8259e748

My Clemson roots make the Palmetto State like a second home to me, and I have many friends (and blog readers) in Columbia and Charleston. My dad also recently moved to Columbia for a new job, and my parents just bought a house there. I am so, so sad to see the pictures and hear the stories of devastation caused by the flooding there over the weekend.

Join me in praying for our friends in South Carolina today as they begin to rebuild. May the state be filled with hope, healing, and lots of helpers.

E

What Lent Is Really About

Yesterday was the start of Lent for 2015.  This year, I’m not making any grand plans for this season since my life is going to change pretty drastically in a few weeks anyway, and I think the nature of having a newborn will force me to slow down and rely on God A LOT. Which, actually, is what I think Lent is really about anyway. 

I wrote the following post on my old blog last year at this time (it was actually one of the last things I ever wrote there), and I had planned to share it here today just because the timing is relevant etc.  What I hadn’t realized, however, was how much I would NEED the reminder right now myself… 

I hope it will speak to some of your hearts today too!

Lent

 

*Post originally published on E, Myself, and I (3/5/15):

I decided a couple of days ago that I was going to give up being lazy for Lent.  So, in true “Fat Tuesday” form, I went to bed at 8:30PM last night.  (Jeff was out of town and Sam spent the night with his grandparents, so it was – truly – a Lenten miracle.)

I woke up this morning feeling as fresh as a daisy – likely the most well-rested I have been in YEARS.  Until, that is, I glanced at the clock and realized it was already almost 6:30AM. (Apparently I slept through my 4:30AM alarm that I set so I could get up and pull my house back in order, etc. before Jeff comes home and life resumes as normal today.)  I have to be at school at 7.

SO, on the first morning of Lent, I did not wake up and spend time in prayer and the Word while I casually sipped coffee and watched the sun rise.  I didn’t start the day focused on the things that “truly matter” like I really want to do during this time.  Instead, I jumped out of bed frazzled and disappointed in myself.  I frantically texted our sitter to apologize for the disaster that is our house (Lord, let me be as wonderful a woman as her one day) and said a silent prayer that I wouldn’t hit any stoplights on the way to work today.  Then, as I got in the shower to wake myself up, I let a few tears sneak out of my eyes.

This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for Lent 2014.

I’m not sure it bodes well for me that I’ve already messed up on my commitment to not being lazy in only the first 24 6 hours of Lent… But, I have been thinking this morning about what Lent is REALLY about and that maybe – just maybe – there is something important to be learned from my “bad start” today…

By definition, lent is the “solemn religious observance in the liturgical calendar of many Christian denominations that begins on Ash Wednesday [today] and covers approximately six weeks [or 40 days] before Easter.”

(Side Note: This definition is from Wikipedia, which pretty much goes against everything I believe as an English teacher, but I like it and I’m too lazy to do any further research.  Ugh.  I just broke my “Lenten resolution” again. Awesome.)

Wikipedia goes on to explain lent as “the preparation of the believer through prayer, penance, repentance of sins, almsgiving, atonement, and self-denial.”  (Sounds fun, right?!?)

The Roman Catholic Church (and many other Protestant denominations – although not the Southern Baptist one in which I grew up) practices these things through a period of fasting from meat and/or giving up something as a form of sacrifice and penitence for 40 days (symbolic of the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the desert just prior to his crucifixion).

Recently, as a culture, I think we have become pretty enamored with the idea of “giving something up” for Lent.  I’ve heard it called “spring training for Christians,” and I know my own tendency towards treating it as a “re-set” for all my new year’s resolutions gone wrong.  This year, about half of my Facebook friends are giving it up for Lent (been there done that), my mom gives up sugar every year, and many in the blogosophere are into getting rid of “40 bags in 40 days” where they purge their house of excess stuff. 

I’ve done those things too (remember, last year I gave up my blog), and I think they are all REALLY good endeavors.  I think God will honor these sacrifices and, I hope, many will go in to Easter Week feeling freed from “chains” that tie them down during the rest of the year.  I, too, plan to “give something up” for Lent; but, I think there is a big risk that in all the hype of the season we miss the point and – well, really – sell ourselves quite short on the message of the cross…

At least in the spiritual/preparatory sense, Lent isn’t about practicing our own self-control and DOING something for God; it is about admitting that we are completely weak before Him and desperate for His sacrifice.

It is, I’m afraid, more about waking up in the morning feeling “doomed” (like I did today), and recognizing that we will fail every.single.time when we try to do it alone; and, instead, being overwhelmed with gratitude for the fact that we don’t have to.

I don’t think it’s bad to “give up” something for Lent… But, I do think it’s crucial that we remember how insignificant our “sacrifice” really is.  God doesn’t need our Facebook pages, processed foods, or bags of stuff.  He isn’t disappointed in me because I overslept this morning; in fact, he will never be disappointed with me because Jesus already paid that debt.

Yes, for the next 40 days, I’m going to focus on being less lazy – on being intentional with my time in the way that I care for my family, invest in other people, and make my spiritual life a priority.  BUT, more than that, I am committing to see myself more the way that God sees me and really LIVING IN the truth of what Jesus’ death means.

Are you with me?

E

BTW (real time E now), I started the She Reads Truth Lent devotion yesterday and LOVED it. It is exactly what I needed to read to refocus my heart and my mind during this season. I actually woke up this morning looking forward to my quiet time.  Check it out if you are looking for something intentional yet simple for the next 47 (45?) days.  It’s free online and – I think – $2.99 to purchase the iphone app. #worthit

We Do Jesus AND Santa

Last year, on my old blog, I wrote a post talking about some of our holiday traditions and the way that we blend our faith with some of the other “secular” activities that surround Christmas today… The post got a lot of feedback, so I thought I’d share it again here today with some updates for this year…

At our house, we do both.

Jeff and I both grew up with Santa being a big part of our Christmas traditions.  I have SO many great memories of mailing letters to the North Pole, sitting on Santa’s lap at the mall, leaving cookies (and reindeer food) out on Christmas Eve, and – of course – waking up to doll houses, bicycles, and new clothes on Christmas morning.

We did all those things and – you know what? – I still absolutely knew the TRUE meaning of Christmas.  I don’t remember exactly when I figured out that Santa wasn’t ‘real,’ but my parents’ went on pretending well beyond the age that it was socially acceptable, and my sister and I happily obliged.  I don’t have any harsh feelings about being “deceived” or anything like that.  Our holidays were amazing and magical and SO MUCH FUN.

I want all of that for Sam and, so far, I have absolutely LOVED seeing him experience it all with so much wonder and be SO excited about lights and snowmen and reindeer and Santa.  There is really nothing like Christmas with a child.

Advent Activity Pack 2

BUT, here’s the thing…

The Santa books and pajamas and decorations? Those things come out for about five weeks in the winter ONLY.  Jesus is a staple in our home all year long.

When I remember that, striking a balance isn’t all that hard… All the fun and excitement that comes with Santa (and his sleigh full of toys) in December, is just the tiniest symbol of the real gift of Jesus.

Because God sent Jesus to be born a baby and live (and die) with us, we ALL have the gift of eternal life and freedom from our sins.  (Now, admittedly that’s a little deep for a three year old – we are really just focused on Jesus being born at Christmas right now – but you get my gist.)

Our Christmas includes Santa, but it is about Jesus.

So… What does that look like tangibly?

– We have a nativity set for Sam and The Elf on the Shelf.

– We read Twas the Night Before Christmas and the story of Jesus’s birth.

– We sing “Oh Holy Night” and “Jingle Bells.”

– We get gifts and we give gifts.

– We sit on Santa’s lap and we visit a live nativity.

Do I think it should be a perfect balance of 50/50 between the two?  No. Do we always succeed at making it MORE about Jesus?  No. But, right now, if you ask Sam who we celebrate at Christmas, he will say “Baby Jesus.” If you ask him about Santa, he will say “Ho Ho Ho.” I feel good about that.

Books

***Updated for 2014***

This year, we have incorporated the Mom Diggity Advent Activity Pack into our holiday traditions, and it has been SO great.  The focus of the activities are on family time, Christmas fun, serving, and creating.  In addition, it came with a simple reading guide that takes us all the way through Genesis up to Jesus’s birth in the Jesus Storybook Bible over the 25 days leading up to Christmas morning.  We are ten days in now, and it has, honestly, been perfect… I was worried about it stressing me out trying to keep up with something else “to do” every day; but, most of the activities are very simple (last night was “let it snow” and we had a pretend snowball fight in the house, Monday was “have a mug of hot chocolate,” you get the gist…), and I organized all the cards ahead of time in an order that worked well for our family (saving some of the “bigger” things like “serve your community” or “make Christmas ornaments” for the weekends/days when I am off of school). Sam loves opening a card each day to see what we will be doing, and I love that it has helped me stay focused on what’s important this time of year.  (See this post for more on that.)

Advent Activity Pack 1

So, what about you?  What does the balance of Jesus and Santa look like in your family?  What traditions help keep both spirits alive?

E

Notes:

– Our nativity is the Fisher Price version that I ordered on Amazon last year, and we LOVE it.

– We own the Elf on the Shelf, but we don’t really “do” anything with him.  He’s more a part of our decorations/ a toy for Sam right now.  I have nothing against the concept, it just – honestly – feels like a lot of work and I’m not crazy about the whole “he is watching you” idea. Maybe one day we will get into it, but not now.

– In general, we use the three gifts (+ a stocking) rule with Sam for now.  We keep it simple and don’t have any set formula to it, but if three gifts were good enough for Jesus, that’s more than enough for Sam. 🙂  (Also, and I credit this mostly to not having cable/no commercials and the fact that Sam goes to a church preschool where they really don’t emphasize Santa much, NOT anything that I have done – but Sam totally hasn’t gotten into the “spirit” of making a list and asking for tons of things at Christmas yet.  I’m sure that day will come; but, when we went to see Santa last weekend I asked him what he wanted and he couldn’t think of anything so I suggested “a new game” and that seems to be good enough in his book.

– This year, we participated in Operation Christmas Child for the first time, and Sam really enjoyed picking out items and putting together a shoebox for “his friend in another country.” We also will shop for an Angel off the angel tree and (per the recommendation of our Advent activities) choose some old toys to get rid of/ donate as well.  In addition, I hope to take a gift basket to our local fire department (since they have been so good to us this year) and deliver canned food to a food bank with Sam’s help. #fatchanceIgetallthatdonebeforechristmas #couldanyonereadthathashtag?

– Kendra wrote an excellent post (of course) on Santa on her blog this week with a little more “theology” and meat to it.  You should read it.

A Perfectly Imperfect Christmas

This time of year makes me so happy in so many ways, but it can also be really hard.  I think a big part of the problem for me is the expectation I set for myself around the holidays… For example, last weekend I spent all day Friday and Saturday cleaning and decorating my house for Christmas.  The plan was to finish everything by Saturday night so that Sunday could be spend relaxing together and on Monday, the house would be spotless and twinkling with lights, the laundry would all be put away, and – after work and school – we would kick off Advent with a big dinner, decorate the Christmas tree together, and go to bed early with visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads. 😉 Here’s how it really went down — I had a total breakdown on Saturday night because the house was still a disaster (albeit a lot more glittery), I hadn’t touched the papers I needed to grade, and we didn’t have clean clothes to wear to church the next morning.  Sunday was nice, but by Monday evening you would never have known I’d spent two days cleaning, several strands of lights had gone out on our Christmas tree, and – after a trip to Lowes and hand-replacing more than 50 bulbs to no avail – we still hadn’t hung the first ornament. (Actually, as I write this on Thursday night, the tree is still sitting undecorated.) Sam was wild, the “nice dinner” I prepared left the kitchen a total disaster, and I literally ended the night in tears on the living room floor (here’s where I blame pregnancy hormones a bit – but you get the idea). It was the ultimate #Christmasfail.

Christmas Mess Ed

My dining room about the time I crashed on Saturday night – not exactly “magical.”

The truth is, I set myself up. Instead of focusing on the fact that we’d had a great day Sunday, Sam ate all of his dinner Monday night, and we were all in the living room together with a fire, Christmas carols, and a (semi-lit) tree – I zoomed in on the little things that weren’t meeting the vision I’d had in mind for how the night would go.  Maybe we were replacing tiny light bulbs and picking dog hair off the tree instead of gleefully hanging ornaments and reminiscing of holiday’s passed – but that day would come.  And, besides, even if the tree never gets decorated (because, for whatever reason that feels like a very overwhelming task to me right now) and the bins holding my “regular season” decor never get taken to the basement – will it really matter in the long run? Is that really what this season is about?

 

I actually learned a pretty important lesson from one of Sam’s little books* earlier this week… In it, the main character – a little old lady named Babushka who is so busy cleaning and polishing and making everything in her tiny home “just so” that she almost misses the miracle of Jesus’ birth…

From Babushka retold by Sandra Ann Horn and illustrated by Sophia Fatus (2002).

From Babushka a Russian folktale retold by Sandra Ann Horn and illustrated by Sophia Fatus (2002)

How easy it is for me to do the same thing if I’m not careful… To spend all my time picking out the perfect gift for the people on my list, wrapping them just so with Pinterest-worthy care, picking up every last (fake) pine needle that falls, and stressing over the dusting of glitter now covering any flat surface.  These things aren’t BAD in themselves; but, it’s easy to let them get out of control and to lose sight of what really matters this time of year – like spending time with my family, being grateful for exactly what God has given me, and – most importantly – preparing my heart for the coming of Jesus.

SO, with all that in mind, I hereby declare my goal for this season… To have a perfectly-imperfect Christmas.

Here are five things I’m giving myself permission NOT to do this holiday season:

1. Have the perfect Christmas tree.  We couldn’t fix the lights, so we ran a cheap strand across the bottom and called it a day.  There are still patches with no lights, but I’m probably the only one that would notice.  We will decorate on Sunday.

2. Take Christmas Card photos. More on this later; but, for a variety of reasons, we just never could get it together to dress in coordinated outfits and pose for a professional photographer this year.  I really do care about our Christmas cards; but, this year, we took a different approach – something much easier than family photos – and I’m really happy with the result.  Plus, as a bonus, they are printed and ready to be stuffed and stamped this weekend – a Chapman Christmas card mailing record.

3. Move that darn elf every night. I have nothing against the Elf on the Shelf, and I rather enjoy seeing all the creative things you all are doing with him (or her?) every night on social media; BUT, it isn’t for me.  It’s all I can do to get my child bathed and put to bed every night at a reasonable hour – ain’t nobody got time for moving a plastic elf around and creating elaborate scenes of mischief for him.  Sorry.  Sam doesn’t know any different; so, for now, our elf will happily sit atop of our lopsided Christmas tree in the sunroom, and I will breathe a sign of relief every time I see him and think of all the time I’m saving. 😉

4. Formally entertain. No Christmas parties or fancy meals at my house this year.  We’ve even opted to have Christmas breakfast at my parents’ house instead of here like we’ve done for the last few years.

5. Travel. At 28 weeks pregnant (which is how far I’ll be at Christmas) and our “weekends before baby” limited; we’ve cancelled our normal holiday travel this year in hopes of seeing out-of-town relatives etc. this summer when things are a bit more settled instead.

Nativity No Watermark

I have to admit, I want to fix these pieces and put them them in their “proper” place every time I walk by and see all the animals dead (or something) and everyone a mess. BUT, I’m resisting, because that mess means little hands have been playing there, and there is nothing sweeter than watching my boy play with his nativity (which he LOVES by the way).

 

And, just for kicks, here are five things I AM making time to do:

1. Read books & our Jesus Storybook Bible Advent reading by the tree with Sam every night.

2. Play board games & watch Christmas movies as a family. This year we started a little tradition of buying a new board game on Black Friday to play together throughout the holidays – and beyond.  This year we bought this one and – though it isn’t really my style, it seems to be a hit with Sam & Jeff.

3. Clean out some clutter in our house and give it away.

4. Invite people over for hot chocolate or soup and grilled cheese. I want our house to be open and this season to be a time of hospitality and community; BUT, not at the expense of driving myself crazy.  So, we will eat simple food, on our every day dishes, and play games or catch up amidst the mess of our every day life.

5. REST

These are the things that really matter – the things I want Sam to remember when he looks back at his Christmases growing up…

Sam and Addy Ed

What things are you NOT doing this year and choosing to do instead? 

More on our holiday traditions and decorations to come (maybe)… In the meantime, I hope you and yours have a beautiful perfectly imperfect holiday weekend!

E